The Critics

WHAT OUR CRITICS HAVE SAID

“Such blatantly carnal rhythms can only inflame the passions and arouse the body into unnatural and dubious delights” -THE LISTENER

“WHO?” -SIR EDWARD ELGAR

“WHY?” -SIR BENJAMIN BRITTEN

“A WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION AT LAST” -Anthony Blair

“They’ll perform in democratic Iraq over my dead bodaaaaghh!” – (final words) BOOKING SECRETARY BAGHDAD JAZZ CLUB

“F****** B*******” – THE TOURETTES SOCIETY

“……degenerate, distasteful, diabolical.It will never replace music!” -THE WATCHTOWER

“Dangerous to horses and old ladies” -R.S.P.C.A.

“Self styled,so called percussionist Barry Tyler has no place in serious musical appreciation.His deliberate departure from dignified delivery is so typical of the irreverence this so called JAZZ is encouraging amongst the musically gullible and culturally deprived youth of yesteryear” -JEWISH CHRONICLE

AND FOR BALANCE

“No good can come of this.Give me Wagner anyday. They must be stopped somehow!” – Corporal A.Hitler(1919)

“Dennis! – we’re leaving” -LADY THATCHER

“At least they’re south of Watford.” -MANCHESTER GUARDIAN

“I foresee rivers of blood” -ENOCH POWELL

“Dat Barry im rankin’ man seen? Im vex dat bobo babylon im star seen?” -HEILEE SELASSE

“Don’t call us” -MADAME TUSSAUD, ANDREW LLOYD WEBBER, BOB GELDORF

“Music is the silence between the notes – play fewer notes” -CLAUDE DEBUSSY

“Would you consider selling that drum kit? – No I don’t want to buy it!” -SMART ARSE

“Let’s call the whole thing off” -GEORGE GERSHWIN

“They sound alright to me” – LUDWIG VAN BEETHOVEN

“…..guaranteed to incite lust and uninhibited gyrations of a most bestial nature…..” -THE LORD CHAMBERLAIN

“The final mix! – Are you sure?” – ABRASIVE DISCS (Our Record Label)